35 Weeks, 5 Days

The baby's getting big. He weighs a tad over 5 pounds and is just over 18 inches long. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

In the 19 weeks since I've written here, we've confirmed that it's a boy, and a very active one at that. Layth is such a handful these days that I'm actually a little scared to have two boys. I have to remind myself that Layth will have (hopefully) outgrown this troublemaking phase before the new baby grows into it.

No, we don't have a name yet. We have so much trouble with boy names. It's not that there aren't any we like. It's that there are very few names that we both like that also won't be a problem for one family or the other. Most people will say that we should be able to name our children what we like and the families should just deal with it, and while I tend to agree, most people don't have to spend time with the offended family members. The blending of cultures in our family is difficult enough without adding to it, so I hold on to the hope that we can find a name that K and I love, and that everyone else can at least accept. We didn't settle on Layth's name until two weeks before he was born. I'm getting antsy now with just over three weeks until the planned induction on May 16, so hopefully we'll settle on something soon.

I'm feeling the need to hire a nanny to help me soon. The scenario that keeps going through my head is this: K's parents have gone back to England, K has gone back to work, I'm alone with the children, nursing the baby, when Layth decides, as he sometimes does, that it would be fun to either pick up Maya and drop her or bash her on the head with a hard toy just to make her cry. Layth needs to be disciplined and removed from the situation, Maya needs to be loved, cuddled, and comforted, and the new baby still needs to finish nursing. I'm only one person, and Layth will have to be dealt with first to protect the other two, so the two most innocent parties will have to be left crying and wondering why they're being abandoned and not getting the attention they deserve. The very thought of it is giving me stress. In the meantime, nannies cost money (lots,) we still haven't gotten the much-needed and long-promised minivan, we have an air-conditioner in need of service and an extra house that we're stuck paying for until we can sell it. Those are just the big things.

Ten deep breaths and a quick review of my many blessings later, I remind myself that one day at a time is the best I can do and usually manages to suffice.